What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is abuse by one person against a current or former spouse, partner, family member or household member. It includes physical violence, threats, sexual abuse, stalking and, in many states' definitions, coercive control. It is a crime in every state, and victims can also obtain civil protective orders.
Key takeaways
- Domestic violence is abuse by a current or former spouse, partner, family member or household member.
- It covers physical violence, threats, sexual abuse, stalking and, in many states, coercive control.
- It is a crime in every state, and victims can also ask for a civil protective order.
- A domestic violence conviction can bring a federal ban on owning firearms.
- Help is available 24/7 from the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.
Who is covered
State laws define domestic violence by the relationship between the people involved. Almost all cover spouses and former spouses, people who live or lived together, people who have a child together, and parents, children and other relatives. Most also cover current or former dating partners, and many cover people in a sexual relationship who never lived together. The same act — a punch, a threat — is charged as domestic violence rather than ordinary assault because of that relationship, which brings special procedures and penalties.
Forms of abuse
- Physical abuse — hitting, choking or strangulation, pushing, restraining, using or threatening weapons. Strangulation is treated as a felony in most states because it is a strong predictor of later homicide.
- Threats and intimidation — threatening to hurt the victim, children, pets or oneself; destroying property.
- Sexual abuse — any non-consensual sexual contact, including within marriage.
- Stalking and harassment — following, monitoring, repeated unwanted contact, tracking by phone or GPS.
- Emotional and psychological abuse — humiliation, isolation from friends and family, constant criticism.
- Economic abuse — controlling all money, preventing work, running up debt in the victim's name.
- Coercive control — a pattern of domination through isolation, monitoring and threats. California, Connecticut, Hawaii and a growing number of other states now include it in their definitions for protective orders and custody decisions.
How common it is
According to the CDC, about 2 in 5 women and about 1 in 4 men in the United States have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. Abuse occurs across all income levels, ages, races and in same-sex and opposite-sex relationships.
Criminal consequences
Domestic violence is prosecuted under assault, battery, strangulation, stalking, harassment and related statutes, often with specific domestic violence enhancements. Many states have mandatory or preferred arrest policies when police find probable cause. Prosecutors can pursue a case even if the victim does not want to testify, using 911 calls, photos, medical records and witness statements. A conviction for misdemeanor domestic violence triggers a lifetime federal ban on possessing firearms.
A Minnesota advocacy organization explains how the law defines domestic abuse; definitions are similar in most states.
Civil protection
Victims can ask a civil court for a protective order (also called a restraining order or order of protection) without pressing criminal charges. It can order the abuser to stay away and stop contact, leave a shared home, surrender firearms, and in many states follow temporary custody and support arrangements. Emergency orders can be issued within hours; violating an order is a crime. The federal Violence Against Women Act requires every state to enforce valid protection orders from other states.
Effects on family cases
Domestic violence affects divorce and custody. Most states require courts to consider abuse in custody decisions, and many presume it is not in a child's best interest to be placed in the custody of a parent who committed domestic violence. It can affect spousal support and property division in some states, and it is a common reason for supervised visitation.
Help and safety planning
In an emergency, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 or by texting START to 88788, and can connect callers with local shelters and advocates. Local domestic violence programs help with safety planning, emergency housing, protective order petitions and court accompaniment, usually for free. Victims in many states can also get address-confidentiality programs, lease termination rights and job-protected leave.
Legal help
Legal aid organizations prioritize domestic violence cases, and many family lawyers handle protective orders, divorce and custody together. People accused of domestic violence should speak to a criminal defense lawyer before any contact with police or the other party, and must obey any protective order even if they believe it is unjustified.
Warning signs
Abuse often starts with control rather than violence: jealousy presented as love, checking a partner's phone, limiting contact with friends and family, controlling money, and blaming the partner for the abuser's moods. Violence tends to escalate over time, and the risk is often highest when the victim tries to leave. That is why advocates focus on safety planning before and during separation.
Talk to a Domestic Violence attorney
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This page explains general rules in the United States and is not legal advice. Deadlines and definitions differ by state, and only a licensed attorney can tell you how the law applies to your own situation.