How do you get a restraining order?

If you are in danger right now

Call 911. Police responding to a domestic violence call can request an emergency protective order from an on-call judge at any hour, which takes effect immediately and lasts several days — long enough to get to court. Ask the officer about it if they do not mention it.

Step 1: Find the right court and form

Domestic violence protective orders are usually filed in family, circuit, superior or district court in the county where you live, where the other person lives, or where the abuse happened. Many courts have a dedicated protective order office or self-help center. Forms are available at the courthouse and on court websites, and some states allow online filing. Most states charge no filing fee for domestic violence, stalking or sexual assault orders.

Step 2: Write your statement

The petition asks what happened. This is the most important part. Be specific and chronological:

• Dates, places and what was said or done in the most recent incident.
• Earlier incidents, especially the worst ones, with approximate dates.
• Threats, use or display of weapons, strangulation, threats involving children or pets.
• Injuries and medical treatment, police reports, and witnesses.

Attach or bring evidence: photos of injuries or damage, screenshots of texts and social media messages, voicemails, medical records and police report numbers. List what you want the order to include — stay-away distances, move-out, temporary custody, firearm surrender, protection for children or pets.

Step 3: The temporary order

A judge usually reviews the petition the same day, often without the other person present (ex parte). If the judge finds reasonable grounds, a temporary order is issued and a hearing date is set, usually within 10 to 21 days. If the temporary order is denied, you can usually still have a full hearing.

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Step 4: Service

The other person must be formally served with the petition, temporary order and hearing notice. Do not serve them yourself. In most places the sheriff or police serve protective orders free of charge; some states allow any adult who is not a party. The temporary order is enforceable once the person has been served or told about it by police.

Step 5: The hearing

Both sides may present testimony, witnesses and evidence, and may have lawyers. The standard of proof is usually a preponderance of the evidence — more likely than not. Bring copies of all evidence, arrive early, and tell court staff if you are afraid to wait in the same area as the other person. If the judge grants the order, it commonly lasts one to five years depending on the state and can be renewed. If the other person was served and does not appear, the order is often granted in their absence.

After the order is issued

• Keep a copy with you, and give copies to your children's school, your workplace and your building manager.
• Report every violation to the police and write down the date, time and what happened.
• Ask the court to modify the order if circumstances change; do not agree informally to ignore it.
• Calendar the expiration date and request renewal before it runs out.

Orders against someone who is not a partner or relative

For neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances or strangers, the usual route is a civil harassment or stalking order. The process is similar, but some states require a pattern of conduct and may charge a filing fee unless violence or stalking is involved.

Safety planning

A court order is a legal tool, not a physical barrier. Domestic violence advocates help plan for safety while the case is pending: where to stay, how to change routines, how to secure phones and accounts against tracking, and what to do if the order is violated. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788) can connect you with a local advocate, who can often come to court with you.

Do you need a lawyer?

Not necessarily — most protective orders are obtained without one. A lawyer is especially helpful when the other person has a lawyer, when custody of children is involved, or when a divorce is also pending. Legal aid organizations prioritize these cases and many provide representation for free.